Long Read
Long Read

Reading List: Authors Who Died in 2017

When authors die they leave behind a piece of themselves in each book, making them immortal. This is the time of year when we see the Internet is filled with a lot of lists, most of which are rather useless. Do we really benefit from re-hashing the year’s top ten …

Surviving The Holidays Without Hurting Anyone

Just as a puppy can be more of a challenge than a gift, so too can the holidays. —John Clayton I strongly dislike Black Friday and holiday sales in general. I find the greed sickening and the false notion that one is helping the economy is grossly ignorant. The economy …

Why Black Friday Needs To Not Happen (NSFW)

The days of waiting in line all night for a chance at a bargain need to be over.   [Note: The following article was originally published at Charles I. Letbetter Creative about this time last year, which is why some of the image content is NSFW. They kindly gave us …

White House Announces Surveillance Program, Resignations

NOTICE: THIS IS SATIRE, NOT THE NEWS We know the headline grabbed your attention but we want to be extremely clear: what follows is satire, not the news. We want you to share the article, but please make sure everyone knows this is satire, not the news. There is enough of a …

How To Survive Being Single Without Starving

Americans will eat garbage provided you sprinkle it liberally with ketchup. -Henry James My mother started early teaching me how to cook. She was convinced, even when I was a child, that I would likely grow up to be single and alone. Fortunately, at least for the larger portion of …

God Isn’t Real But Santa Claus Is Bringing Presents

“On a busy day twenty-two thousand people come to visit Santa, and I was told that it is an elf’s lot to remain merry in the face of torment and adversity. I promised to keep that in mind.” ― David Sedaris Living with a seven-year-old around this time of year …

Does My Relationship Give You The Creeps?

“If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.” –Actor Clint Eastwood to his wife, Dina Relationships are really big in the news rights now, specifically dysfunctional and largely illegal relationships. I hadn’t wanted to comment on any of the mess in Hollywood or New York or anywhere else because anything I …

Finding Focus In A Blurred World

How strongly are we influenced by what we hear, what we see, and what we experience without ever actually giving the matter direct thought? Is there such a thing as an original thought any more or is everything merely a re-interpretation of what someone else created? [ed. note:  The Old …

Naked Dining Might Solve Our Gun Violence Issues

SUTHERLAND SPRINGS, Texas (AP) — The gunman who killed 26 people at a small-town Texas church went aisle to aisle looking for victims and shot crying babies at point-blank range, a couple who survived the attack said. [Source] Naked dining doesn’t sound like it has a damn thing to do …

5 Films Someone Needs To Make Right Now

Everyone loves a good movie. In fact, the whole concept of Dudeism centers around The Big Lebowski and the character of The Dude. There’s just one problem with all these movies we’ve been watching our entire lives: they’re male-dominated. Not that there’s necessarily anything wrong with the guys, there are …

When Real Life Mimics A Television Series

Frankie Bergstein: What brand would you smoke if your husband turned out to be gay? Clerk: Uh, Newports? Frankie Bergstein: For 20 years? Clerk: Lucky’s. If you’re one of those people who has never been exposed to the Netflix original series Grace and Frankie, you are living a deprived life. The …

AI Could Be What Makes All Lives More Chill — Or Not

Tesla CEO Elon Musk explained on Twitter that his self-driving cars will be able to predict your destination without you having to say a word, thanks to AI. Source: Elon Musk: Tesla’s Cars Will be Able to Predict Your Destination Everyone I know, at least the ones that still talk …

Raising Children With Skills To Succeed

There may not be anything more important to ensure future success than to adopt world-class habits and perfect them daily. Source: 4 Habits the Highly Successful Have Mastered hildren. Raise your hand if you have some. Yes, the one with the drink in it is fine. I probably have mentioned …

I’m Only Leaving Home For The Fun Stuff

ne of the joys of living when we do is that modern conveniences, particularly the Internet, make it increasingly possible to not have to leave home when we don’t want to. This is important because part of abiding well means being able to spend long hours in meditation and contemplation …

Pizza Toppings, Neanderthals, And The Ability To Chill

Gravity is the root of lightness; stillness, the ruler of movement. Tao te Ching, 26 eanderthals would probably have not liked pineapple on their pizza and that’s why they’re extinct. Sort of. Not exactly, mind you. Although Neanderthals did presumptively occupy parts of what is now Italy so I guess …

Perhaps We Should Redefine American Holidays

e were shopping in our friendly neighborhood warehouse store yesterday and the Young Woman commented on the Christmas decorations that were already prevalent even before Halloween. Not that either of us was actually surprised. Holiday creep in store marketing has been a thing for decades as retailers try to extend …

Finding Solutions To The Problems We Create

If we want to cut down on disease and achieve meaningful health care reform, we should make it a top nonpartisan priority to address our nation’s nutrition crisis. –Dariush Mozaffarian, Professor of Nutrition, Tufts University There are so many hot-button issues on which I want to voice my opinion that I …

Responding to the Whiner In Chief

Among all the character flaws one might attribute to the 45th president of the United States, one of the most annoying is that he is a chronic whiner. Almost every time he takes to Twitter it is for the express purpose of whining and complaining about one thing or the …

It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye

September was not a kind month. Let’s take a moment to consider what all happened, in no particular order. At least 70 known deaths from Hurricane Harvey in the Houston, Texas area. This doesn’t count the deaths in Louisiana and Mississippi nor deaths that occurred after the storm as a …

Roald Dahl’s “Charlie” Was Supposed To Be Black

“I don’t know why (it was changed). It’s a great pity.” Liccy Dahl, Roald Dahl’s widow There is so much about children’s literature that we love. We identify with the characters and sometimes even take on some of their traits. We look at how they solve the problems in their …

Is All This Suffering Really Necessary?

Hey, dudes! We’re glad you could join us again. I’ve been worried about some of you down in Florida and want to make sure those of you in Georgia and Alabama stay safe as well. Let’s get things started with an appropriately named playlist while you read. Let it get …

There Is No Chill When You Worry

Dude! Thanks for stopping by! Let’s start this thing by clicking on this week’s playlist. Let it run for a few songs, get yourself into the groove ’cause there’s a definite groove. Maybe burn some green if you’re so inclined. Let’s chill together for a while. Early one morning this …

Rules Don’t Apply When They’re Wrong

Has the whole world gone crazy? Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules?  -Walter, arguing with Smokey Rules. There are times when they are absolutely necessary, such as bowling, or football, or most any competitive event. They lay out the framework that allows …

Look! The Old Man Has A New Book!

Are we excited around here or what? The Old Man has published a new book! Rethinking ‘Merica is an examination of the current state of the country with practical suggestions for what we can do to actually make it better. This isn’t ear-tickling political garbage, mind you. If anything the Old Man …

Positive Thinking Won’t Lead You To Happiness

Good morning, dudes! If this were a traditional church, we would probably begin by singing some hymns or maybe having a live band guide us through some of our favorite songs. This is not a traditional church, though. I mean, you can hum something if you want, we won’t fault …

How To Abide While Not Becoming A Victim Of Terrorism

There’s little question that terrorism is a bad thing and if we’re all quite honest with ourselves we’d really rather not get all caught up in any part of that mess. The problem is that no one ever knows when or where a terrorist might strike. They seem to look …

The Chillatitudes: A basic guide for learning to abide

While reading, the Old Man suggests playing this in the background: grew up in an extremely religious family. My late father was a Southern Baptist pastor and Mom was the quintessential pastor’s wife. Everything we did revolved around the church. We said grace before every meal regardless of how public …

We Are Slobs

Fashion retail is failing because we prefer to dress like bums   The Short Version With thousands of major brand name stores closing this year, fashion labels and department stores alike are struggling to find a way adapt to a fundamental shift in how people dress. Comfort dominates over style. …

Can I Eat Here?

Note: This article was previously published on the Old Man’s other website. We apologize if you’ve read it before. We needed content and the Old Man is cheap. For us. For anyone else, he’s insanely expensive.  Fighting Type 2 Diabetes means finding flexible places to dine   Ready-to-wear fashion season …

The Rise And Fall Of Mayberry

Note: This article was previously published on the Old Man’s other website. We’ve moved it over here to help populate the place a bit. Andy needs a gun and Opie’s moving meth.     Smalltown America has always been an important part of who we are as a country. Back …